


Strong

by drunkonlarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-06 12:58:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1107109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drunkonlarry/pseuds/drunkonlarry





	Strong

Louis flicked the syringe again pushing the bottom up slowly til a little bead came out of the tip of the needle. He took a deep breath before looking to his arm. His body twitched with the craving for the drug to course through his veins and calm him down. He quickly glanced at the door to see that it was in fact locked before he plunged the needle deep into his arm, releasing the substance into his blood stream. 

He smiled as he felt the pleasurable sensation take over his body. He quickly disposed of his needle before he heard a knock at the door.

"Louis five minutes til we have to be on stage!" Louis nodded his head at Liam's voice taking one final glance in the mirror. He looked good. He pulled down his sleeve and walked towards the door. Opening it slowly to be greeted by his band mates on the other side.

"Ready?!" Louis asked as he bounced on his heels. His band mates looked at him curiously before they all nodded.

They all knew there was something going on with Louis, none of them knew what exactly. Louis refused to talk to them or even hang out with them anymore. The only time his mates saw him was when they were on stage.

He would go straight to his bunk on the tour bus never to be seen until they stopped at the next arena where he would swiftly go inside and lock himself in his dressing room til the show. Straight after the show he would hurry to the car beating the boys to the hotel and locking himself in his room. He used to be a fun and outgoing person. He used to love laughing and spending time with his 4 best friends. 

"Something is wrong. I'm worried." Zayn muttered as he walked with Niall and Liam towards the stage.

"But he won't talk to us so how are we supposed to figure it out?" Niall asked grabbing his mic from the table and getting ready to go on stage.

"We will talk later." Liam said as he looked over to a happy bouncing Louis.

"GIVE IT UP FOR ONE DIRECTION!!" A voice boomed causing the boys to run on stage.

Louis blinked several times trying to will his eyes to focus. He had done this many times before, shooting up right before the boys go on stage for a show. But this time it felt different. Something felt wrong. He pushed it to the back of his mind as he started to sing.

Singing was all Louis wanted to do. It had been a dream of his since he was 3. He knew turning to his new ways could ruin everything, but he couldn't find it in himself to care anymore.

He hated his life. He hated living. No matter what he did he would get criticized for it. If it wasn't the media, it was the fans. If it wasn't the fans, it was his family. If it wasn't his family, it was the boys. People were always on his case for something stupid and he was sick of it.

Drugs were his escape. As far as he knew, no one knew he did them. He was discrete about it. He only did them when he was alone and he always made sure to clean up the mess.

If you asked him what caused him to turn to drugs, he wouldn't have an answer. He might tell you that it was his fame, his fight with Harry, or his fight with his mom that caused him to stop talking to his family entirely. He really wasn't sure.

All he knew was it started as a way to numb the pain he was feeling and quickly turned into his comfort blanket. Whenever anything went wrong, he would quickly dismiss himself from the group and hurry to the bathroom to shoot up. It was never a large amount, only enough to take the edge off and calm him down.

Maybe that's why he felt so off right now. He had admittedly taken a little bit more than usual. But it couldn't hit him this bad could it? He had been doing heroin for months. His body must have been immune to it by now. All he knew was he felt like he was going to puke.

He looked over to Liam with worried eyes then glanced back to Zayn. Zayn looked to Liam then to Niall. Louis started to panic as he looked out at the sold out crowd.

Suddenly he dropped his mic and ran off the stage. He barely made it to the bathroom before he puked all over the floor. He collapsed to his knees as he kept feeling his stomach lurch and more and more kept coming out of his mouth. He felt like he puked up everything he had ever eaten in his entire life. When he was finally done, he lowered himself the rest of the way to the floor. The coolness of the concrete felt like heaven against his burning skin.

He curled around himself and started to sob. What had he done with his life? He used to be so happy and so fun loving. Now he was this shell of himself. He had stopped eating and he kept pushing away anyone that wanted to help. He didn't know what to do anymore. He just wanted it all to end.

He laid on the floor for an unknown amount of time. No one came to check on him. He knew they wouldn't. Everyone was sick of him and his shit. He slowly pulled himself up off the floor and made his way to his dressing room.

He gathered all this things throwing them into his bag before he looked around one last time. He saw a sheet of paper and quickly scribbled out a note for the boys.

_I need some time to better myself. Don't come looking for me because you won't find me. I'm sorry I let you down._  
 _-Louis_

With tears in his eyes he left the arena for what he felt like would be the last time in his career. He wanted to say goodbye to everyone properly but he knew they didn't care about him anymore. He had become a burden to everyone.

The boys always had to make excuses for him as to why he wasn't where he should be on time. Management had to always write press releases and try to save his tarnished image. He had no one in his life that truly cared about him. Why should he keep living?

He hailed down a taxi and asked them to drive him the 3 hours to his house. The ride was filled with only the sound of Louis sobs. He pulled out his phone to tweet.

_'@Louis_Tomlinson: I'm sorry I let everyone down'_

He quickly shut off his phone not wanting to see the nasty things the fans would say about him. He knew they all hated him as much has he hated himself.

When he finally arrived home he paid the driver before running and locking himself in his house. He looked around at all of the awards he had won and started to wonder when his life had gone so wrong. He didn't want to think about the fame right now. He wanted to get as far away from it as he could. He ran to his room and packed a bag before taking off again. He threw a set of keys in the counter before he shut the door behind him. He hopped in the car and drove to the one place where only one person could find him, Harry.

The drive took an hour. He arrived to find the place how they had left it the last time they were here. He walked inside and fell to the ground. His body was weak. He hadn't eaten all day. He pulled himself up and walked to his bag grabbing out a packet of crackers. He slowly nibbled them. After eating 3 he decided he was full. He walked to the bedroom and collapsed on the bed. He slept on the right side because it still smelled faintly of Harry.

Meanwhile the boys were all frantically looking for Louis. They finished the song they were singing before dismissing themselves from the stage. Harry wanted to follow immediately after Louis ran off but the voice in his ear told him if he moved an inch his career would be over.

After the song was finished Harry dropped his mic and ran after Louis. The backstage personnel told him they last saw him run into his dressing room. He quickly thanked them before running into the room finding it completely empty. He looked around quickly for any sign of Louis. His eyes stopped on the note. He read it over and over again before he dropped it and turned on his heels. The rest of the boys were at the door.

"Where is he?" Liam asked looking around the room before his eyes landed on Harry.

"I don't know..." Harry drifted off as he felt his emotions finally catching up to him.

"We will find him Haz."

"He doesn't want to be found." Harry sobbed looking over to the note on the floor. Zayn slowly walked over to it, picking it up and reading it.

"But you don't think?"

"Where is Louis?" The boys all turned around at the voice they knew all too well, the man who claims to have their best interests at heart yet has ruined all of their lives.

"Where the fuck do you think he is?" Harry snapped.

"Haz, don't" Niall pleaded. Harry pushed Liam away from him and turned to the head of management.

"If it wasn't for you I would still have my best friend. I would still have the Louis I fell in love with. But because of you that Louis is gone and he is never coming back!" Harry yelled, "hell fucked up Louis is gone too. He ran because he can't handle the pressure you put him under. Just know if he dies... his blood will forever be on your hands." Harry hissed as he started to walk out the door.

"What do you mean if he dies?" Their manager asked slowly.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Have you not been paying attention? He is losing weight. He doesn't eat. He doesn't go out. He is silent in interviews. He isn't even Louis anymore. But of course you wouldn't notice. Your head is too far up your ass that could can't see that he is slowly withering away in front of our eyes. All you care about is money!"

"Harry...." Liam warned. He knew this wasn't going to be good.

"Shut the fuck up Liam!" Harry barked. "I have had to watch the boy I love slowly die right in front of my eyes. I am going to say my peace and you all will shut the fuck up." He turned around and glared at his manager. "I have been quiet for too long. I allow you to say whatever you want in the media to ruin my image. I date all the girls you want me too all so Louis doesn't have to feel pain. But guess what, Louis has been hurting for so long and I can't do a damn thing about it. I try to comfort him and you pull me away and ship me to a different hotel or you make me go out with some slut. I can't help how I feel about him. Are you really that much of a money hungry asshole that you would rather kill off a member of the biggest boy band in the whole world then allow me and Louis to be happy? Well let me tell you something if Louis dies, I die too. He completes me. I wouldn't be who I am without Louis. So just know, you will have two dead members blood on your hands."

"Three...."

"Four...."

"Five!" Harry turned around and smiled at the boys.

"We aren't one direction without Louis."

"I'm sorry to do this boys but you have to go finish the concert. We will talk after." Harry scoffed.

"LISTEN HERE YOU FUCKING PRICK I QUIT!" Harry yelled before storming towards the door. "Louis quits too! Boys I will keep you updated!" Harry said as he left the room. He ran outside to his car and speed towards Louis house.

He couldn't believe he had just quit being a member of One Direction. Louis meant more to him than the band. He had hurt Louis enough and he wouldn't do it anymore. He had no idea what Louis was up to, that he was into drugs. Louis refused to talk to him after the last stupid slut he was forced to date.

Harry knew Louis didn't believe what was said about him. He knew Harry wouldn't sleep with some random girl. But seeing it all the time made it hard. Harry thought back to what Louis said the night he last talked to him.

_"I didn't sleep with her Louis. You have to know me better than that."_

_"I don't know what to believe anymore Harry. Maybe it's better if we just don't talk anymore. I hate you Harry!"_

Harry knew Louis was just hurt and he didn't mean it. But after that fight Louis really started to pull away from the band. That was when he stopped hanging out with them. He started to lose weight and he became a shell of the Louis Harry had fallen in love with. 

Harry arrived to Louis' house and ran to the door. He knew his lock code so he quickly entered the house.

"Louis!" Harry yelled walking around the downstairs. "Louis!"

He quickly made his way to Louis bedroom. He walked into the closet and saw clothes everywhere. He walked into his bathroom and the sight in front of him caused him to stop breathing.

No Louis really couldn't.... he wouldn't he thought as he walked over to the bag laying on the counter. He picked it up carefully and saw the needle. His breath caught in his throat. He pulled open one of the drawers and saw more needles.

He pulled his phone out and quickly dialed Zayn.

"Zayn where are you?" Harry asked.

"Just got to London. What's up?"

"Get to Louis' quick please and don't tell the others. "

"Be there in 5!" He said before hanging up.

Not many people knew it but Zayn had a brief stint of doing heroin. He did it a couple times before Perrie caught him and told him if he wanted a future with her he would stop. He stopped immediately.

Harry knew if anyone would know what this was it would be Zayn. Part of Harry already knew, he just hoped he was wrong. How could he not notice something as serious as this. He felt like a horrible friend.

He heard the front door open and he ran to the stairs to meet Zayn. Zayn looked at him curiously before he walked up the stairs to meet him.

"What is it Haz?" Zayn asked cautiously. Harry looked like he was ready to break. Harry didn't say a word only walked towards the bathroom.

Zayn's eyes widened as he took in the sight in front of him. He slowly walked into the bathroom. He grabbed one the syringes laying on the floor. It had a few droplets left in the tube. Zayn pushed the bottom up slowly waiting for the bead of liquid to come out the top.

Zayn looked around the room quickly before he decided to place it softly in the sink. He turned to Harry who was watching with glassy eyes. Zayn knew he was waiting for confirmation of the worst. Zayn turned around and opened all the other drawers in the bathroom. All he found was more needles.

He groaned out in frustration. He kicked the hamper turning back to Harry. He stopped when he heard the sound of glass hitting each other. He slowly turned around and pawed through the clothes.

He looked down at the sight in front of him. He was glad the hamper was turned away from Harry so he couldn't see inside. Inside the hamper was 30-40 small vials that once housed the lethal drug. He slowly picked one up and turned it in his fingers. He looked up to Harry.

Harry had tears coming out of his eyes but he hadn't made a sound. He stayed silent the whole time. Zayn dropped the vial with the others before slowly standing up and making his way towards Harry. Harry fell to the ground. Zayn caught him and lowered himself on the ground with him, holding him while he cried.

The look on Zayn's face had said it all. Harry didn't need confirmation. Louis was doing drugs and not just any drugs but a drug that could kill you in an instant without warning. The possibility of Harry losing him suddenly became all that much more real. Harry cried until his body would no longer allow it.

Both boys jumped at the sound of the front door opening. Zayn tried to look around Harry to see who it was but he couldn't.

"Haz, Z where are you?" Niall's voice rang out. Harry pulled away from Zayn's chest for a second to nod before he curled back into him.

"Niall we're up in the bathroom." Zayn yelled back. Second later Niall emerged alongside Liam.

Niall and Liam took one look at Harry crying into Zayn's chest before they sank to the ground and hugged Harry too.

"Z what happened?" Liam asked cautiously. Harry shakily rose to his feet before he walked downstairs to get a drink. He didn't want to hear it or see the disappointment on their faces.

Harry walked into the kitchen and noticed a set of keys on the counter. He picked them up and eyed the suspiciously. He played with the key chain before realization struck him. It was the key chain Harry got Louis when he bought him their "vacation" house an hour from London.

Why would Louis leave the keys? Harry played with them a few seconds longer before he got up and ran to the door.

"I know where Louis is! Stay here and I will bring him back!" Harry yelled as he slammed the door shut and took off down the road in his car.

He drove as quick as he could. He hopped he wasn't too later when he got there. He pulled up to the house and saw that Louis car was in the driveway. He parked behind him and ran to the door. He unlocked it and burst inside. He didn't want to scare Louis so he closed the door quietly and listened for any sounds. He heard a faint whimper coming from upstairs. He bolted up the stairs.

His eyes widened in horror as he took in the scene in front of him. Louis lay on the floor surrounded in little vials and used needles. He had a syringe in his hand.

"Louis! Baby no!" Harry yelled running over to him before he could inject himself. Louis looked up to Harry and smiled lightly before he went to stab himself again.

"I love you Haz, but I have to go. You have to let me go."

"Like hell I do Louis! I love you and I will not allow you to do this!"

"It's not your choice Harry, this choice is mine and mine alone. I can't do it anymore Harry. I'm sorry, but this is for the best."

"Best for who Louis? For you? What about me? I need you Louis, you can't leave me. Not now, not ever!" Louis nodded slowly.

Harry leaned down and connected his lips to Louis' hoping to convey how much he loved him in a single kiss. Louis lips weren't warm and soft like Harry knew them to be. They were cold and clammy. Harry didn't care he wasn't going to break the kiss.

"I love you Louis. Please don't do this. I need you. You can't leave me!" Harry pleaded. Louis blinked as Harry's tears hit his face.

"Haz it's for the best. I am just a burden in everyone's life. You will move on and forget I ever existed. No one will care."

"That's right Louis you are just a burden in my life. Since you came into my life I can't imagine a life without waking up next to you. I can't imagine a life where you are not by my side. Louis I can't imagine a life without you and I won't."

"Harry, you are one person. The only person who cares about me. Name me 2 other people who care." Harry was silent.

"We care!" Louis slowly turned his head to the side to look at Zayn, Liam and Niall.

"Louis what are you doing?" Zayn asked. Louis shook his head. "Lou, give it to me please." Zayn begged. Louis shook his head.

"I'm sorry boys. I love you but I have to do this." Louis took a deep breath as he raised his hand ready to stick himself. Harry looked to his hand then down to Louis before he quickly smashed his lips against him with much more passion this time.

The kiss caused just enough of a distraction that Zayn was able to grab the syringe from his hand. Louis let out a huff as he reached up and pulled Harry down too him more. Harry reluctantly pulled away and brushed some of Louis hair out of his eyes.

"I quit One Direction today." Harry smiled down at Louis. "They wouldn't let me be with the love of my life so I quit."

"We quit too. Its not fair that you guys aren't allowed to love each other. I don't want any part in an organization that treats it's clients like that." Liam smiled.

"Well now that we are out of a job, now what?" Niall asked.

"I am going to take some time off and spend it with the love of my life." Harry smiled down to Louis again.

"Let's all take a vacation, together. Like we used to. We could write songs and make a new sound. We could come back a different version of ourselves." Louis looked over to the three boys standing on the other side of the room. "Besides I heard going through withdrawals is the worst and I'm going to need support. You boys have always made me strong."

The boys all started to laugh. Louis smiled and looked up to Harry placing a kiss on his lips.

"Is it so wrong that you make me strong?"

Harry shook his head before placing his lips to Louis once again. He knew it wouldn't be immediate but he would do whatever it takes to get his old Louis back and that's exactly what he was planning on doing.


End file.
